Getting Greece out of debt

What happens when an ancient civilisation crashes?

I am not an economic historian so don't expect an insightful review of the global economics of the 15th century in the next few paragraphs. In fact, you'll probably never hear me speak about such things.

However I have a suggestion for Greece to help them raise some much needed funds. The great thing about my suggestion is that it is transferable to other nations and, in the long term, will benefit everyone.

The Greeks should copyright the Greek alphabet. They should charge non-Greeks to use their alphabet.

If they adopted this idea - and, let's be honest, why wouldn't they? - they could charge 1 cent for each utterance of a Greek letter by non-Greek nationals.

In my Maths lessons yesterday they would now be receiving a payment of about €450. As it is Pi day on Thursday I imagine the €16 trillion euros generated from around the world would go someway to alleviating their problems.

If this is adopted, I have a further suggestion to deal with Climate Change. Even though it is National Science and Engineering week in the UK, we should ban the Bunsen burner from all schools. The use of fuel to allow children to repeatedly heat water is not a justified use of a rapidly depleting resource. Especially one that is linked to Climate Change.

Τα χρήματα μου είναι στο δρόμο του.